Even in a darker place
Seeing someone else's happy face
Makes it all a little better.

I can't even remember the date anymore
Is it Sunday?
Is it Saturday?
Is it Monday?
Because my thoughts are all wound up around one little pin:
Did that really just happen?

Eyes Of Stars

The darkness is my best friend
Because when everything is gone, it's still there.
It beckons me with it's hissing, calming, booming, soft voice...
"Come, my child of darkness,"
Flutters across it's cold tongue.
"Tell me all of your secrets..."
And I reveal it all
Not because I want to - it can give me no guidance-
But it's the only one I know who will never tell a soul.

You tell me what you think
You ask me what I think
I don't know what to think

Suddenly you don't know either.

You again ask me what I think
I tell you what I think
I ask what you think

Suddenly you disappear.

You again ask me what I think
I don't know what to think
I ask you what I think

Suddenly, it's gotten old.

I LLove Words

Maxim: a general truth
Demure: reserved, modest
Abhor: to loathe
Abstruse: difficult to comprehend
Accoutrement: outfit
Ambivalence: one thing and its opposite
Anomaly: different, peculiar
Asunder: into parts
Beige: light brown/gray
Betwixt: between
Blatant: obvious, noisy
Chatoyant: changeable luster/color
Effloresce: to bloom, burst forth
Cumbersome: slow-moving (clumsy)
Naive: simple, lacking world wisdom
Reverie: daydream
Quixotic: lofty, impractical ideas
Resuscitate: to revive from apparent death
Pyrrhic: achieved at excessive cost
Enigma: hard to understand/explain, mystery
Eclectic: composed of many sources
Haberdasher: a dealer in notions; a dealer in men's clothing
Phantasmagoria: constantly shifting things, real or imagined; optical illusions
Louche: not reputable or decent
Metanoia: change of heart; spiritual conversation
Fabulist: liar
Ineluctable: inescapable
Feckless: weak, ineffective
Coprolite: fossilized poop
Ostensible: open; out for display
Crucible: a severe test

To the World

I wish I could find that courage
That voice inside of me
That lets me step away from my sanity
And do things that are crazy.

I wish I could find that courage
That voice inside of me
That lets me barely step away from sanity
And do things that are kinda crazy.

I wish I could find that courage
That voice inside of me
That lets me stand on the line of sanity
And do things that aren't very crazy.

I wish I could find that courage
That voice inside of me
That lets me stand inside my box of sanity
And say five words to you.

A false death
Kisses warm lips
Of misery
Now lost to Earth

Love lost by two
By self
By other
By one more
For who the story is ended

And the stars
Speak of now
The insanity
That 's plagued

For, hopeless
The homeless
Seek refuge
In a crypt

In the City

the lights out-shine the lights.
the noise drowns out the noise.
the smells engulf the smells.
the feelings destroy the feelings.
the tastes burn up the tastes.
if i could get away for a mere moment
from all of the new things around
then i would experience heaven on Earth.
on Earth.
yes, Earth.
the thing that is ever being lost.

You lift me up,
You spin me 'round,
Then you drop me.
Let the stars all cross and shoot into my eyes.
o.O

How Much Time?

But how many wishes upon this have been made?
And yet, the only way my wish, as with most,
Shall be granted is with time.
No wish to accelerate time will ever be granted
By the love of fate lain upon us,
Only by the hated fate of our own lost cause.
A wish of bad fate shall not we even hope
To wish for unless to torture ourselves and our relations.

Lost?

____________p
__________u
I'm tripping
sdrawkcab si gnihtyreve
__________has fallen from beneath my feet
The world
______________T
________________h
__________________e
_____________________s
_______________________k
_________________________y
______________________________________towards me
_____________________________is rushing

________________________________________a___d
____________as I cover my face with trembling h___n___s
________________The seas
_______________________a
______________________l__________________uish
_____________________l_______________ting____________t_a
______________________pour out and ex_____________the s____r
_____________________________________________________s
_______________t
_____________n___a
___________u_______i
_________o___________n
___The m_______________s all poi______down
______________________________nt
______s e n k r a d e h t n
______s great stalactites i

_______And I can't find you
And I can't find you anymore
_______o_________________z_________m____f____________________w_______
_________c______b_____h___e_______n_____________iu______qr_______
______g_____l____p______a____y______t_______d__
________k_____________v__________s_____x_____j___

Why do things always feel like going wrong?
Not even yet, but they still feel like they will be?
It gets hard
It gets tough
It gets dirty and rough.
What am I going to do?
What am I going to be?
If only the world didn't demand me to grow up so quickly.

Now I Can See

It's hard to walk on the Earth
We see the Earth
We hear the Earth
We feel the Earth
We taste the Earth
We smell the Earth
When the walk gets really tough
That's when we really begin to use our senses.
Lay down on our back
And notice pinpricks of white light,
Made up of rainbow.
They flash blue, red, white, purple, white, red
A beautiful distress signal.
We get so wrapped up in the darkness on Earth
But now I see the Stars
I hear the Stars
I feel the Stars
I taste the Stars
I smell the Stars
What a better thing to sense than the darkness of this world we live in.

If love is all there is,
Then I suppose I live for nothing,
For all I give is for the sake of those I love
Not for love itself.

What exists is only because we think it exists.
If we were to disbelieve in the seasons,
Would not everything be summer, winter, spring, and fall with no difference?
Alas, we shall never know,
For human experience goes on.

The Stars Are Still Here

I can smell smoke and coyote breath
The grass is four feet tall, and I wade through it
The lights are bright and intruding
Car horns and dog barks
It looks like the pavement goes on forever, and I hope it does
Because if I can keep walking and never turn around
At least the beat of my pounding feet will remain constant.

When someone looks at me,
It's a difficult thing to see
Their eyes.
As if they can see more in me
Than I can even see
In my eyes.

What do we live for?
The world is ending anyway.
So we're told everyday.
Terrorism, war, economy.
The world is failing us.
But is it?
Government, power, money.
Greed connects it all.
It's not the world failing us.
We're failing ourselves.
What do we live for?
Nothing, as long as we let ourselves be brainwashed into just what they want us to believe.
Nothing, as long as we let ourselves fall through the loopholes that allow this slavery.
Nothing, as long as we let ourselves stay uneducated, uncaring, uninvolved individuals.
What do we have to live for?
I don't know.
But I know what I have to live for.
I am the future. But I am not yet "we".

Zeitgeist

Light and Dark

Not all angels have white wings,
Some have black or grey.
Light cannot be without darkness,
Nor night without day.
Ice cannot be without water,
Nor hunter without prey.
Strength cannot be without weakness,
Nor sad without gay.
Light angels cannot be without dark angels,
Or as it comes to say,
Life cannot be without death.

(December, 08)