_____The door closed with a soft clack of the latch taking its place. The wood echoed my father’s “Goodnight” until it sounded like “Goodbye” fading with the footsteps down the hall. Even the footsteps are garbled by the thick tan carpet digesting the noise.
_____I close my eyes tight against the cold. It always gets colder when the door is closed. The tiny bed was surrounded by cold. The soft covers felt rough and frozen in the cold. I know it’s not that cold.
_____“Nothing to be afraid of, it’s just dark, and nothing changes in the dark that isn’t changing in the daytime,” Mommy and Daddy would say before they put me to bed. I had to believe them. I have to try to believe them. My eyes shut tight.
_____Shelves neatly line the walls, holding smiles of porcelain figures, and grinning tiny plastic animals. They smile down to my bed. They can see me better than I can see them, with the light from the lamppost across the neighbor’s yard making a spotlight between the cold pink curtains to my feet at the bottom of the mattress. The whole room looks pink. The tiny bit of light reflects the wallpaper color onto the ceiling and onto the floor.
_____A car drives past, and for a second, I think it’s okay. The headlights turn the room normal colored, and nothing moves. The dolls stay smiling, and the animals stay quiet. But in the red light of the brake lights before the car turns at the stop sign, the mobile in the corner moves. It circles around slowly, and the tiny sea shells on it clack against each other, ticking like a clock. Just the wind. The wind can move things. I remind myself. There’s only silence besides the clicking of the mobile clock.
_____Too many things happen at once. The nightlight turns on with a flicker, projecting stars onto the wall. I close my eyes tighter. The cat scratches at the door to get in, but I can’t move. I can feel their eyes moving, blue and green, even if I can’t see them. Down off of the light wooden shelves, dropping one by one onto the covers next to me. I sneak a peek from under the covers. Teddy shakes himself, fluff falling from his ears like snow. His dark eyes like the night, glinting. Snake and Tiger inch towards me. I close my eyes tight again.
_____The dark is colder than ever. The ticking of the mobile like a clock continues, and my tiny zoo of animals practically roars. I’m sweating in the cold pink light. Why can’t they hear it? It’s so loud! The white toy box lid creaks open. Barbie and Ken giggle with each other. The whole room is giggling, laughing at me as I sweat on my bed.
_____Baby Secret touches my foot. “I like to whisper in the dark.”
_____It’s too much! I scream, silent against the darkness at first until I can breathe enough to make a sound.
_____The door opens and light turns on. “It’s okay, darling,” Mom’s hands block out the light.
_____Dad puts the dolls back on the shelves and closes the toy box. “It’s time for bed, pumpkin. You can play tomorrow.” He tucks the pink covers around me. A kiss on the forehead from both of them, and the door closes again.
_____It’s dark, and suddenly cold, once more. Snake slithers up softly, sliding herself across my mouth. “Sssleep. It’sss our turn to play now.”
_____I shut my eyes tight against the pink room. “Nothing to be afraid of, it’s just dark, and nothing changes in the dark that isn’t changing in the daytime,” Mommy and Daddy would say before they put me to bed. Just the wind. The wind can move things.
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