_____It wasn’t really that bad. Dying, that is. I’d known I was going to die anyway, so it wasn’t even surprising to me. The doctors told me that I only had so long to live. I’d expected that it would be shocking.
_____It was simple, really. Stop feeling, stop seeing, stop hearing, stop thinking even. If a soul thought their way through this, they would probably go insane. What happens when the soul itself is insane?
_____Sucked into a pool of ice water, with the instant realization that I was going to drown, I was peaceful still. The water only disappeared once I ran out of breath, and by that time, it was as if we’d gone through every season in a blur, until the old me was laying still in the winter time, and the new me was standing as a stream of warm sunlight itself.
_____Everyone was sobbing. Why were they so sad? It seemed like this should be a happy place. Mary was rubbing her wedding ring with one hand, and holding the old me with her other. “No! No!” Maybe she could feel me touching her, maybe she couldn’t. I just hoped she’d let go soon. I kissed her forehead and touched my son’s hand that was holding his wife’s.
_____I turned to go to the door of our house – it wouldn’t be for long; Mary had so many more people to touch that she’d be gone from here soon enough – but stopped when I saw her. She sat on the couch, wide-eyed and staring at the Sunday funnies. Then her eyes flicked up to me for an instant, before she went back to staring at the paper. When she looked up at me again, I waved at her, and if it was even possible, her eyes got wider, and she gripped the paper tightly. I laughed as I let myself out.
_____Grandchildren have that effect on dead people.
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